


mediocre at best

by jyanie



Category: BTOB, VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Platonic Relationships, bby just loves everyone, bin is Sick and Tired, chatfic, im a slut for kenvi what can i say, im sorry for this mess, jaehwan can be emo a lot, jaehwan n taek were smols together, kinda lol, no one knows what hyuk does at uni or how he even got in, pan!hakyeon, taekwoon just wants to leave the chat, wonshik claims he's straight but his affection for jaehwan says otherwise, ya bicth loves btob too so guess who im inserting into this fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-09 08:00:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12883521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jyanie/pseuds/jyanie
Summary: jaejanji: u kno the saying, distance flies when ur always high, failing school n wallowing in ur miserytaekwoon: that- that isnt the sayingdamnra-ssi: r u okayliterally only writing this bc i have a chatfic addiction and there arent enough vixx chatfics in the world





	1. heteronormative society and its wack ass standards

**Author's Note:**

> the app they are using is like a mix of kkt and fb messenger so they have diff nicknames depending on the chat but they use smses too so their contact name are different
> 
> hakyeon : hakyeo(N)/lifelong friend  
> taekwoon : taekwoon/the bestest  
> jaehwan : jaejanji/fake maknae  
> wonshik : damnra-ssi/leader/rap enthusiast  
> hongbin : kong/normal one/phs enthusiast  
> sanghyuk : galbi song/real maknae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **damnra-ssi** : who hurt you  
>  **jaejanji** : heteronormative society and its wack ass standards  
>  **taekwoon** : some kid in 3rd grade made fun of him wearing a pink shirt to school way back  
>  **galbi song** : nice  
> 

[  **chat** : _cheetah is my mom_ ]

[ **hakyeo(N)** (chachaN) _added_ **damnra-ssi** (wonshikshik), **jaejanji** (ljhwn) and **taekwoon** (jungtaek) to _cheetah is my mom ~~~~_]

 

14:17 

  
**hakyeo(N)** : hell o deares tbfrienhdj

 **taekwoon** : what is this

 

[ **taekwoon**  left the chat]

 

[ **hakyeo(N)** added **taekwoon** to _cheetah is my mom_ ]

 

 **hakyeo(N)** : no

 **damnra-ssi** : woah,, hyung isnt it a bit early to be drunk

 **taekwoon** : it also happens to be a sunday  
**taekwoon** : and jaehwan, stop lurking we can see you

 **jaejanji** : wow the technology of today, amazing

 **damnra-ssi** : ur the reason y hyung is drunk arent u

 **jaejanji** : i refuse to make any statements w/o my lawyer present

 **taekwoon** : you're a junior in uni you can't afford a lawyer

 **jaejanji** : u rite u rite

 **hakyeo(N)** : anYurwat,,,  
**hakyeo(N)** : *anywatd  
**hakyeo(N)** : *anyway  
**hakyeo(N)** : i made tuis chat bc i miss us hanging out :•( yd o i never seeuf gusys

 **taekwoon** : yeon, we live together  
**taekwoon** : i saw you an _hour_ ago

 **hakyeo(N)** : so lojng :•( im having withdrawak sympto sn

 **jaejanji** : hyung we are in the same room  
**jaejanji** : oh wait we arent oop

 **damnra-ssi** : uh m did u lose hyung in ur apartment

 **jaejanji** : ha thats tje thing  
**jaejanji** : so  
**jaejanji** : we were walking n shit dojng all that cute couple shit

 **damnra-ssi** : cute couple shit

 **taekwoon** : wow okay

 **jaejanji** : n we ra n into this dude in my theatre group n followed him to some place in incheon

 **taekwoon** : incheon  
**taekwoon** : jaehwan we all live in hongdae i'm

 **damnra-ssi** : u were walking?

 **jaejanji** : u kno the saying, distance flies when ur always high, failing school n wallowing in ur misery

 **taekwoon** : that- that isnt the saying

 **damnra-ssi** : r u okay

 **jaejanji** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **taekwoon** : i don't want to know anymore just make sure you guys don't die

 

 **SMS** :  Lifelong Friend, The Bestest

14:56

 **The Bestest** : yeonnie are you okay?

15:18

 **The Bestest** : hakyeon?

                       : hakyeon you there?

 

[ **Chat**  : _cheetah is my mom_ (4) ]

 15:27

 

  
**taekwoon** : lee jaehwan

 **jaejanji** : yeet  
**jaejanji** : gotta hoya

 **damnra-ssi** : wait what

 **jaejanji** : _oop_

 **damnra-ssi** : hoya left infinit e  
**damnra-ssi** : i  
**damnra-ssi** : im going to go lie down

 **jaejanji** : 2 down, 1 to go  
**jaejanji** : btw i found yeonnie hyung, he was lecturing some little girl abt the dangers of avoiding tax penalties  
**jaejanji** : twas enlightening

 **taekwoon** : please take him before he embarrasses himself

 **jaejanji** : too late for that  
**jaejanji** : but dw we's in a taxi now w sm kid

 **taekwoon** : oh

 **jaejanji** : sm freshie who lives in ur dorm building n calls him R.A hyungnim  
**jaejanji** : looks like an overgrown baby

 

15:35

  
**taekwoon** : _oh_  
**taekwoon** : sanghyuk

 **jaejanji** : lemme add him actually, the taxi driver wont stop talking abt his 4 year old kid so we cant even talk

 

[ **jaejanji** added **galbi song** (hsanghyuk) ]

 

 **jaejanji** : like shit i dont need to hear abt a child that has achieved more than me despite my advantage of 18 extra torturous years of existence _fuck u yoon hyejong_

 **damnra-ssi** : who hurt you

 **jaejanji** : heteronormative society and its wack ass standards

 **taekwoon** : some kid made fun of him for wearing a pink shirt to school way back in 3rd grade

 **galbi song** : nice

 **damnra-ssi** : what in the shit fuck

 **jaejanji** : sorry i had a moment  
**jaejanji** : hyukkie introduce yourself

 **damnra-ssi** : wait can i add sm1 too

 **jaejanji** : **no**  
**jaejanji** : hyuk as u were saying

 **damnra-ssi** : i

 **hakyeo(N)** : shik-ah go aheaf

 **damnra-ssi** : hyung ur alive? alrighty

 

[ **damnra-ssi** added **kong** (hanzo299) ]

 

 **damnra-ssi** : this is my friend frm that one class i took n proceeded to fail

 **taekwoon** : "that one class" wow that narrows it down

 **damnra-ssi** : fcu k you

 **kong** : fcu k

 **hakyeo(N)** ) : yay new friejdbs!

 **kong** : friejdbs

 **jaejanji** : i like u already

 **damnra-ssi** : .

 **taekwoon** : i giggled

 **hakyeo(N)** : okaY i:ll start  
**hakyeo(N)** : im hakyeon, i double major in education n psychology, im the R.A for the byeol residential building n im the oldest

 **taekwoon** : name's taekwoon, major in music and i live with hakyeon

 **jaejanji** : im jaehwan, a struggling art student and theatre extraordinare

 **damnra-ssi** : wonshik but i go by ravi too, i study video and film production and im the school radio mc

 **galbi song** : the school has a _radio channel_

 **kong** : ouch

 **galbi song** : okay, so old hyungnim/R.A hyungnim, stoic hyungnim, extra ass hyungnim and san-e wannabe hyungnim

 **kong** : y e o u c h

 **damnra-ssi** : i

 **kong** : aNYWAY  
**kong** : im hongbin, i study drama n minor in business and i probably play more overwatch than the average person should

 **galbi song** : what up my name's jared im 19 and i never learnt how to fucking read

 

[ **kong**  left the chat ]

 

 **hakyeo(N)** : ure 19? wah, so yoiungg~~

 **damnra-ssi** : this is why you're called the old one

  
[ **damnra-ssi**  changed **hakyeo(N)** to **gramps** ]

  
**gramps** : excuse u

 **taekwoon** : hakyeon go sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the second u/ns for jaehwan, shik, bin and hyuk make more sense in the next chapter lmao it'll would been too long  
> i hope the characterisation does the boys justice, as for jaehwan, art ruins u n i speak from experience, so he does seem a bit more cynical than he actually is


	2. you have no redeeming qualities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **jaejanji :** i know u wish u could have a piece of this ass  
>  **jaejanji :** prime real estate right here  
>  **gramps :** my pan ass would never  
>  **kong :** i-  
>  **gramps :** i said what i said

 

 

 

[ **chat** **:** _cheetah is my mom_ (6) ]

 

  
02:17

**galbi song :** can we change the

**gramps :** no  
**gramps :** over my dead body

**galbi song :** well, i guess your days end here

**taekwoon :** i refuse to testify for anyone in court. now can you please shut up

**kong :** the mute button exists for a reason old man

 

  
[ **taekwoon** left the chat ]

 

  
**galbi song :** welp 

**gramps :** oh no u dont

**kong :**

          

 

  
[ **gramps** added **taekwoon** to the chat ]

 

  
2:37

**galbi song :** lol triggered

**taekwoon :** who added you back into the group anyway

**kong :** find out next time on mythbusters

**galbi song :** i snorted

**gramps :** hyukkie don't encourage him, hongbin that meme is extremely old im disappointed

**kong :** you dont have the jurisdiction to tell me that

**galbi song :** yeah hyungnim you really dont  
**galbi song :** anyway *proceeds to give hongbin all the support n encouragement he needs*

**gramps :** how gay

**taekwoon :** thats iT

**kong :** he snapped lol

**galbi song :** yeet

**gramps :** is someone running in the hallway

**galbi song :** don't look at me

 

  
02:40 

**kong :** hyung?

**galbi song :** and then there were two

**gramps :** taEkwooNdisv tbdhbehe. wueukebfbfhskgvxrhjdfjFUSUNSBGCJKHEKFLP

**galbi song :** _goodbye, goodbye_  
_good friends, goodbye_

**kong :** is that frm bear jn the big blue house

**galbi song :**

                     

**taekwoon :** goodnight

**galbi song :** is hyungnim dead? lol

**kong :** goodnight hyung + hyuk, rest in pieces hakyeon hyung

**galbi song :** sleep is for the weak

**taekwoon : goodnight**

**galbi song :** goodnight hyung

**taekwoon :** :)

 

  
10:12

**jaejanji :** damn taek hyung has more influence than i thought  
**jaejanji :** good for u

**taekwoon :** what the hell is that meant to mean

**gramps :** hwanie are we still meeting at the café?

**taekwoon :** wait  
**taekwoon :** aren't you meant to be in class?

**jaejanji :** whywhy, is dear daeguni jealous *bats eyelashes* and yes hyungie~

**kong :** you disgust me

**galbi song :** lord knows what u couldn't smell with that huge nose

**jaejanji :** rude

**taekwoon :** what the hell is that meant to mean

**jaejanji :** don't worry ur mediocre at best lil head woonie hyung, it's for my assignment

**kong :** mediocre at best im

**taekwoon :** @jaejanji you're one more nickname away from getting your ass beat and @kong dont encourage him

**kong :** i feel attacked

**gramps :** why would taekwoon be jealous? as if i'd ever look at you in that way

**jaejanji :** pfft why not  
**jaejanji :** i know u wish u could have a piece of this ass  
**jaejanji :** prime real estate right here

**gramps :** my pan ass would never

**kong :** I-

**gramps :** i said what i said

**kong :** why are u like this

**kong :** where is hyuk i need backup

**galbi song :** who are we judging this time

**kong :** who else

**galbi song :** @gramps

 

 

**gramps :** rude 

**jaejanji :** yo where did hyung disappear to

**damnra-ssi :** i think i just saw a taekwoon shaped blur run past my studio window

**jaejanji :** lol gotta hoya

**damnra-ssi :** still too soon

 

  
[ **c** **hat** : _maknae line_ ]

[ **jaejanji** added **damnra-ssi** , **galbi song** and **kong** to _maknae line_ ]

[ **jaejanji** changed their name to **supreme leader** ]

[ group admin set to **supreme leader** ] 

[ group admin now set to **kong**  ]

 

  
**supreme leader** : did he just

   
[ **kong** changed their name to **normal one** ]

[ **normal one** changed **galbi song** to **real maknae** ]

[ **normal one** changed **damnra-ssi** to **leader** ]

[ **normal one** changed **supreme leader** to **fake maknae** ]

   
**real maknae** **:** nice 

**leader :** ?

**normal one :** literally only bc ur the oldest in maknae line, u have no redeeming qualities

**leader :** i want to be offended but its true

**fake maknae :** im offended enough for the both of us 

  
[ chat name changed to _maknae line + a wannabe_ ]

  
**normal one :** shut it wannabe

**fake maknae :** choke

**leader :** what is the point of this gc

**fake maknae :** glad u asked  
**fake maknae :** this is y ur my favourite dongsaeng

 

  
11:12

[ **chat : rap enthusiast** (wonshikshik), **phs enthusiast** (hanzo299) ]

  
**phs enthusiast :** that squeal was u wasnt it 

**rap enthusiast :** i

 

11:15

[ **chat :** _maknae line + a wannabe_ (4) ]

 

  
**fake maknae :** anyway as taekwoon's best friend i have to keep his interests at heart

**normal one :** "best friend" uh m idk if hyung would agree

**real maknae :** i snorted

**fake maknae :** moving on  
**fake maknae :** and i think he's interested in our dearest yeonie hyungie

**real maknae :** how dare u, doing aegyo, in my home, in front of my salad

**normal one :** how are u so sure

**fake maknae :** good question bean sprout

**normal one :** i

**leader :** sjdhduushdhd

**fake maknae :** they've been like  
**fake maknae :** vibing

**normal one :** what in carnations

**leader :** hyung has been watching too many usher mvs

**real maknae :** just because ppl think u look foreign bc of the ski slope u call a nose  
hyungnim, doesnt mean u can insert random English words in ur sentences

**fake maknae :** C H O K E  
**fake maknae :** i mean !! there is like, tension between them its so palpable i can just taste it

**leader :** ngl, i puked a bit after readjng that sentence

**fake maknae :** thanks im here all week

**normal one :** and?? ? what r we meant to do abt it

**fake maknae :** uhm?? ? interfere?

**real maknae :** how has hyungnim not killed you yet

**fake maknae :** i know how to swindle my way out of sticky situations  
**fake maknae :** but there have been way too many close calls  
**fake maknae :** way too many

**leader :** are u okay

**normal one :** no but rlly hyung, i dont think thats a good idea  
**normal one :** taek hyung hasnt even told us if he's into guys

**fake maknae :** tru  
**fake maknae :** okay we wont do anything  
**fake maknae :** for now  >:^)

 

  
11.45

**leader :** so no one is curious about how bin managed to change the admin settings

**real maknae :** dont ask questions just accept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funny story  
> i wrote thi sthe same day as the first chapter but got lazy whilst doing the html shit then i ran out of dat a AHAHAHAHHA yeah im sorry this is so late i have no excuse lmao i have been doing shit all at home and we got wifi 3 weeks ago i gue it never occured to me that i should post thi s
> 
> anyway thank u for all the kudos n comments onthe first chap, im glad u all like it! hope u all had a great christmas!!


	3. diabetes for breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **kong :** why is everyone in this chat falling apart  
>  **gramps :** excuse me  
>  **taekwoon :** excuse me  
>  **galbi song :** are insults really the only way to summon someone in this chat

 

01.12

 

[  **Chat :** _cheetah is my mom_ (6) ]

 

[ **jaejanji** changed the chat name to _ITS CHRISTMAS BINCHES_ ]

 

  
13.45

 

**jaejanji :** ITS CHRISTMAS BINCHES

**kong :** the monster has been unleashed

**galbi song :** its not christmas goddamit

**kong :** dont bother, he's been blasting christmas music since chuseok ended

**damnra-ssi :** how would you know

**kong :** i was in the elevator in our building and he ran it manically and asked me if i was "wonshik's crazy attractive friend on our chat"

**galbi song :** why do i feel like i can hear wonshik hyung being triggered from my room

**kong :** probably bc you can, he's with taekwoon hyung

**damnra-ssi :** fuck OFF

**galbi song :** LOL

**kong :** anyway turns out he's the guy dwnstairs that ive been reporting for disturbing the peace in the building

**jaejanji :** yoURE THE REASON WHY I NEARLY GOT KICK ED OUT YOU LITTLE SHIT IM GOI G TO THROLLRTE YU

**kong :** oop

**damnra-ssi :** hyung u live in our building how did i not kno w this???

**kong :** maybe if u stoppe d wearing those big ass headphones on ur ears you'd know what happens around u

**galbi song :** someone is bitter

**damnra-ssi :** i burnt his popcorn and broke his fav mug

**galbi song :** whats the big deal? put syrup on the burnt popcorn n buy him a new mug

**kong :** shit not everyone likes having diabetes for breakfast

**gramps :** you were tryna eat popcorn for breakfast?? maybe it was a good thing wonshik burnt ur food

**damnra-ssi :** i knocked yhe packet nto the gas hub i used to make ramen  and the mug was a limited edition one so either of those solutions are applicable

**gramps :** i take back what i said  
**gramps :** how on earth did u manage to do that 

**kong :** i WON THAT GODDAMN MUG IT WAS EVeN SIGNED AND SHIT

**jaejanji :** u 2 need to go to couples therapy, it works tru st me i went once with taekwoom

**galbi song :** lol taekwooooooooooom taeknyoom nyehehehhehehhehe

**taekwoon :** SHUT

**damnra-ssi :** ???????? but u arent a couple?????????

**jaejanji :** so?

**galbi song :** i dont even want to know why or how u got him to go there  
**galbi song :** btw hyung did u know that playing christmas music can be a causing factor in the development of depression

**jaejanji :** u knw, while that makes a lot of sense, im not going t o stop bc iTS CRHISTMAS

**kong :** are you even Christian 

**jaejanji :** i once made out with a priest's daughter during my aunt's 3rd wedding  
**jaejanji :** does that count

**kong :** what  
**kong :** no what the fuck hyung no 

**galbi song :** i have too many questions concerning that single sentence

**damnra-ssi :** its too early for thsi

**kong :** ???????????  
**kong :** its 2pm 

**damnra-ssi :** your point is?

**kong :** why is everyone in this chat falling apart

**gramps :** excuse me

**taekwoon :** excuse me

**galbi song :** are insults really the only way to summon someone in this chat

**gramps :** my life is in perfect order thank you very much

**jaejanji :** if you dont count the occasional day drinking and unhealthy obsession with girl groups, yes it is

**gramps :** shut it weeb

**kong :** oh sHIT

**jaejanji :** appreciating the art that is anime doesnt warrant the use of such an insult

**taekwoon :** the both of you are hopeless now please stop arguing im trying to nap

**galbi song :** nap?? isnt wonshik hyung there?

**gramps :** they are both napping

  
14.30

[ **chat : rap enthusiast** (wonshikshik), **phs enthusiast** (hanzo299) ]

 

**phs enthusiast :**  you deadass left to take a nap at taek and hakyeon hyungs' place??

**rap enthusiast :** they have nicer pillows + my "big ass headphones" couldnt cancel out the sound of u furiously punching ur keyboard  
**rap enthusiast :** what th eufck were u playig anywa y 

**phs enthusiast :** words with friends

**rap enthusiast :** oh my GOD

**phs enthusiast :** fuck off it was in english n i failed tht subject in school  
**phs enthusiast :** plus i was still seething frm the damage ur idiocy caused

**rap enthusiast :** that was 3 weeks ago LET IT GO

**phs enthusiast :** NEVER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is hella short but HEY a double update woop  
> ive fallen in love w btob, specifically lim hyunsik, so I'm probably going to awkwardly insert them into this fic bc ion see many btob chatfics either  
> I gots to supply for those in need  
> I'm so sorry lmao hope u all have a great day


	4. yucksungjae has entered the chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **smiles :** oka  
>  **smiles :** 1\. i am not assuming, you stared into my eyes while pulling away my plate and proceeded to lock urself in the bathroom  
>  **smiles :** 2\. i also watched in terror as you deleted my save file so dont pull that "i admit" shit  
>  **smiles :** and 3. i do study law. sungjae ive been studying for yhe past 3 years

[02:30]

  
**galbi song** : jaehwan

 **galbi song** : jaehwan

 **galbi song** : jaehwan

 **galbi song** : jaehwan

 **galbi song** : jaehwan

 **galbi song :** jaehwan

 **galbi song :** jaehwan

 **galbi song :** jaehwan

 **galbi song :** jaehwan

 **galbi song :** jaehwan

 **galbi song :** jaehwan

 **galbi song :**  jaehwan

 

 **jaejanji :** exUCSE ME

 

 **galbi song :** *hyung

 **galbi song :** guess what im thinking

 

 **jaejanji :** what i  
**jaejanji :** why the fuck would i know ehat ur thinking

 

 **galbi song :** i mean

 **galbi song :** you have the nose for it

 

 **jaejanji :** i

 

 **kong :** HAEJRHREHUSJAJAHAHAHAHQHHWHWHWHW

 

 **damnra-ssi :** oh. my gkshs

 

 **gramps :** no roasting before 6am

 

 **galbi song :** says who

 

 **gramps :** says me u steroid boosted gremlin child go to sleep goddamnit

 

 **damnra-ssi :** oh my god hongbin is choking on his own spit im laugdhdjrhr

 

 **taekwoon :** good

 

 **galbi song :** well shit, you dont hold back hyung

 

 **jaejanji :** can we forget abt hongbin dying anf pay attention to me?

 **jaejanji :** i have been WRONGED nf i don't deserve such disrespek

 

 **kong :** see, u saying shit like disrespek is the reason why u are a victim of hyulk's tyranny

 

 **jaejanji :** u should have continued choking u lil shit

 

 **galbi song :** lol sorry hyung

 **galbi song :** sungjae made me say it

 

 **gramps :** boi dont lie that was all you, u child of satan

 

 **jaejanji :** yeah sungjae is a sweetheart he would never say such a thing

 

[ **lemme move my bangs** (yucksungjae) entered the chat]

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** thanks for believing in me hyung hyuk how dare u blame me

 

 **galbi song :** you dont have morals it was believable ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** u rite

 

 **taekwoon :** how are you people just entering chats

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** compliments boost my ego and give me the power to defy technological laws

 

 **taekwoon :** i shouldnt have asked

 **taekwoon :** and you, hongbin?

 

 **kong :** whats it to u old man

 

 **gramps :** taek how are you still awake

 

 **kong :** ye old man isnt it past your bedtime

 

 **taekwoon :** shut up you're literally 5

 

 **kong :** your point is

 

 **jaejanji :** why are we not talking about my offended self

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** hyung not everything is about you

 

 **jaejanji :** says who

 **jaejanji :** i take back what i said abt u being a sweetheart

 

[ **jaejanji** added **smiles** (limhyunsik) to the chat]

 

 **jaejanji :** take back your demon child we dont want him we already have to deal w satan and his evil accomplice hongbin

 

 **smiles :** what makes you think we wanted him in the first place

 **smiles :** he seems to have taken a liking to you all, keep him :)

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** hold up

 **lemme move my bangs :** so u gon deadass talk abt me while im right here

 

 **smiles :** ye

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** what typa headassery

 

 **jaejanji :** dont act surprised u the king of headassery

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** lmao u rite

 

 **smiles :** anyway tldr you signed up for a buy one get one free when you added sanghyuk, no refunds or exchanges :)

 

 **jaejanji :** listen thO

 **jaejanji :** we got hongbin for free tho we dont have space for another lil shit

 

 **kong :** wonshik added me tho so it dont count sorry

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** i feel very hurt by all this

 

 **smiles :** yeah and i was hurt when you stole my watermelon and deleted my save data on ace attorney but you didnt think about that did you

 

 **galbi song :** bitter

 

 **kong :** it just gets better and better doesnt it

 

 **taekwoon :**  why are you all still talking about this

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** my feelings have to be acknowledged i am an innocent hooman bean

 

 **smiles :** innocent

 **smiles :** now imma have to stop you right there

 

 **gramps :** how are all of you still awake

 

 **jaejanji :** existential crisises and a 3500 word personal study on the history of impressionist art

 

 **kong :** stop raining on our parade old man

 

 **jaejanji :** im deadass 1 year older than u im

 **jaejanji :** wheres wonshik tho did he die

 

 **gramps :** maybe hes sleeping

 

 **kong :** theres no way hes sleeping

 **kong :** after 2am is his prime productivity timr

 

 **kong :** oh wait he is sleepinf he passed out on his history of film text book

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** wait

**lemme move my bangs  :**

  
**lemme move my bangs :** why do u assume i stole ur watermelon

 **lemme move my bangs :** i admit to the ace attorney thing i wanted to play plsu u cant keep it n say its for research u dont evem study law

 

 **smiles :** oka

 **smiles :** 1\. i am not assuming, you stared into my eyes while pulling away my plate and proceeded to lock urself in the bathroom

 **smiles :** 2\. i also watched in terror as you deleted my save file so dont pull that "i admit" shit

 **smiles :** and 3. i do study law. sungjae ive been studying for yhe past 3 years

 

 **galbi song :** oh my god sungjae

 

 **taekwoon :** wow

 **taekwoon :** and i thought hyuk was bad

 

 **kong :** lol hyung r u okay

 

 **smiles :** ye i made him buy me a new game

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** he just likes to bring it up as evidence of my headassery

 

 **smiles :** :)

 

[04.00]

 

 **gramps :** i hope ur all sleeping

 

 **galbi song :** sleep is for the weak

 

**gramps :**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love awkwardly inserting characters :))))) hope u all had a great new years celebration n what not 
> 
> i spent it mixing wine w fizzy drinks when my mum wasnt looking and nearly shitting myself bc of fireworks


	5. sanghyuk no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **kong :** u locked urself in ur apt to play animal crossing
> 
>  **kong :** for a week straight
> 
>  **kong :** you could have known but u decide to abandon basic hygiene, actual food and social interaction for a ds game
> 
>  
> 
>  **jaejanji :**  toy day was approaching and i had to be sufficiently prepared ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry lol  
> more btob mem(e)bers yay lmao im still tryna familiarise myself w the members n their personalities so sorry if they arent rlly accurate n pls correct me lol i need all the help i can get

01/01

 

[ **Chat :** _ITS CHRISTMAS BINCHES_ (8)]

[ **jaejanji** changed the chat name to _ITS NEW YEARS DAY BINCHES_ ]

 

 **jaejanji :** ITS NEW YEARS DAY BINCHES WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **smiles :** so yall really deal with this everyday

 

 **kong :** sadly yes

 

 **damnra-ssi :** did you rlly have to send that on the chat hyung im right next to u

 **damnra-ssi :** ufkc im deaf now he screamed it in my ear

 

 **kong :** wait where are u guys

 

 **damnra-ssi :** at hyungs apt, we were gonna go to a party but i got here and he was in a blanket burrito and smelt like 3 week old chinese food

 **damnra-ssi :** so i assumed we werent gonna go anywhere

 

 **kong :** standard

 

 **smiles :** where were u last week tho hwanie? no one could get a hold of u i thought u might be dead lol

 

 **taekwoon :** you missed the christmas party by the way, i saved you crab sticks though

 

 **jaejanji :** thanks for pulling thru fam

 **jaejanji :** but fr yall deadass had a christmas party

 

 **taekwoon :** ye

 

 **jaejanji :** how come i didnt know (°ロ°)

 

 **kong :** u locked urself in ur apt to play animal crossing

 **kong :** for a week straight

 **kong :** you could have known but u decide to abandon basic hygiene, actual food and social interaction for a ds game

 

 **jaejanji :**  toy day was approaching and i had to be sufficiently prepared ok

 

 **kong :** but this is animal crossing tho its not that deep

 

 **jaejanji :** thats what u think

 **jaejanji :** my town is so close to being perfect i just had to get rid for peewee's wack ass

 **jaejanji :** then he decided to pull that "nvm imma stay" shit on me and i was raging

 **jaejanji :** then hyuk n sungjae came over and all hell broke loose

 **jaejanji :** i couldnt even attend bob's bday party o(╥﹏╥)o

 

 **smiles :** so the demon children knew exactly where u were

 **smiles :** but didnt say anything

 

 **jaejanji :** ye

 

 **galbi song :** ye

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** ye

 

**smiles :**

 

 **jaejanji :** ???????? where on earth is that pic frm

 

 **smiles :** when we were backstage for the art dept's musical rehearsals and changsub hyung threatened u w one of the sword props

 **smiles :** n the closest thing to u happened to be a dried fish

 

 **jaejanji :** aw memories

 **jaejanji :** speaking of changsub

 

[ **jaejanji** added **the ult visual** (changSUB) to the chat]

 

 **the ult visual :** what on earth is this

 

 **jaejanji :** HYUNG HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

 **the ult visual :** oh its u

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** happy new year hyungie

 

 **the ult visual :** oh its **you**

 **the ult visual :** why am i here n can i leave sungjae already has me triggered

 

 **smiles :** no

 **smiles :** u cant leave me alone here

 

 **jaejanji :** idk if im meant to feel offended because im like

 **jaejanji :** right here but ok

 **jaejanji :** ur here bc i misssssssssed you how r u hyung???????¿??

 

 **the ult visual :** i was gr8 until i was added to this chat

 **the ult visual :** now the demon child can find me n bother me all the way into 2018

 

 **taekwoon :** which demon child there are so many

 

 **the ult visual :** our demon child

 

 **damnra-ssi :** how on earth would he find u tho

 

 **the ult visual :** idk transmutation circles or pentagrams who knows w sungjae

 

 **kong :** r we gonna rlly just forget abt how jaehwan hyung disappeared for a week to play animal crossing

 

 **damnra-ssi :** ye

 

 **jaejanji :** speaking of animal crossing

 

[ **jaejanji** changed their nickname to **fuck u phyllis** ]

[ **jaejanji** changed **taekwoon's** nickname to **brewster** ]

 

 **brewster :** WHY

 

 **fuck u phyllis :** i built a cafe n u remind me of the owner of it

 **fuck u phyllis :** he mumbles, gives u coffee beans as payment for working and only opens up to u after 2 weeks of chatting

 **fuck u phyllis :** the difference is that u took 4 years to open up to me

 

 **brewster :** fuck off

 **brewster :** how do i relate to the coffee beans payment??

 

 **gramps :** dont start taek

 

 **kong :** hyung ur alive?

 

 **gramps :** dont **start** hongbin

 **gramps :** anyway, taekwoon

 **gramps :** u put coffee beans in your coats

 

 **brewster :** i like the smell goddamnit

 

 **fuck u phyllis :** plus can we talk abt how he deadass looks like u

**fuck u phyllis :**

**fuck u phyllis :** like damn what a mans

 

 **kong :** is that

 **kong :** a pigeon

 

 **fuck u phyllis :** at least i didnt compare him to the flea frm a monster in paris

 

 **gramps :** listen

 **gramps :** at least my comparison was ACCURATE

 

 **the ult visual :**  lol

 

 **galbi song :** a spitting image honestly

 

 **smiles :** i snorted

 

 **fuck u phyllis :** im in the kitchen n i can hear wonshik chokin in the living room

 

 **damnra-ssi :** akdjfhrufhhfhSHHDHD FUCJNBD

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** kinky

 

 **fuck u phyllis :** brewster or shikkie choking?

 

 **lemme move my bangs :** you dumber than i thought u were

 

 **galbi song :** speaking of kinky

 

 **gramps :** sanghyuk no

 

 **galbi song :** sanghyuk yes

 **galbi song :** ┬┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴

 

 

[ **gramps** removed **galbi song** (hsanghyuk) from the chat]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk where i was going w that ending so imma leave it like this lol  
> a level literature has been kicking my ass n art is threatening to curb stomp me on a daily basis so i havent posted this despite having written this chp 2 weeks ago lol oops  
> i will prove what i meant when i said that taekwoon looks like the flea frm a monster in paris its a compliment (????) i swear
> 
> Anyway i hope u enjoy more of my awkward insertion of btob members


	6. long overdue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [ **kong** changed **gramps** ' name to **an Actual Petty Bitch™** ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello ehe
> 
> hakyeon : gramps/an Actual Petty Bitch™  
> taekwoon : brewster  
> jaehwan : fuck u phyllis/nose  
> wonshik: damnra-ssi  
> hongbin : kong  
> sanghyuk : galbi song  
> sungjae : lemme move my bangs  
> hyunsik : smiles  
> peniel : strum strum  
> changsub : the ult visual

10/03

 

[ **chat** : _ITS NEW YEARS DAY BINCHES (8)_ ]

 

[ **gramps** changed the chat name to _cha hakyeon, ultimate being and co._ ]

  


**gramps :** better :)

**gramps :** this chat was as dead as my aunt’s facial skin cells

 

**kong :** isnt ur aunt dead

 

**gramps :** exactly my point.rip aunt sohee (  u .u)

 

**kong :**  what the actual fuck

 

**fuck you phyllis :** better?? thats what u think

  


[ **fuck you phyllis**  changed the chat name to _cha hakyeon is messy and pours milk before cereal_ ]

  


**gramps :** that was one (1) time **gramps :** i was nursing a hangover and fell asleep in a bathtub

 

**fuck you phyllis :**  the fact that it happened is a problem in itself u evil being

**fuck you phyllis :** n ur just proving my point that ur a messy bih

  


[ **gramps** changed **fuck you phyllis** ’ nickname to **nose** ]

 

**gramps :** well i didnt deny that part

 

**galbi song :** wow hyungnim why are your insults so dry :(((

 

**kong :** why do u call everyone hyungnim

 

**galbi song :** irony

 

**kong :** so its fake respect

 

**gramps :** im sorry i cant afford to spend my time dissing ppl over the internet while playing video games

**gramps :** believe it or not i have a life young child of mine

 

**kong :** OUCH

  


[ **kong** changed **gramps** ’ nickname to **an Actual Petty Bitch™** ]

  


**brewster :** the first accurate username i’ve seen since this damned groupchat came into existence

**brewster :** ignore hakyeon he’s being pissy bc i deleted his reruns of real housewifes

**brewster :** *accidentally deleted

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** uhm

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** everyone and their gRANDMOTHER knows that the incident was no mistake

 

**kong :** i didnt know korea had a real housewives?? i thought that was an american thing

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** it is an american thing

 

**brewster :** he watches it under the guise of “trying to improve his english skills”

 

**nose :** here’s the real important question

**nose :** which edition are you watching

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** atlanta ofc

 

**nose :** thank GOD

**nose :** if you said smth like dallas or orange county i was going to have to cut all ties w u ://///

 

**kong :** how could you learn english from a bunch of angry housewives that just fight cry and go on vacation w ppl they hate

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** ah u poor naive baby

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** i dont only learn english

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** i learn about _life_

 

**nose :** amen

**nose :** lol where did hyuk go tho

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** maybe he’s being emo bc i called him out

 

**kong :** i highly doubt that

**kong :** but then again i do remember him going through a visual kei and mcr phase in eighth grade

**kong :** so emo in that sense, yes

 

**damnra-ssi :** you knew hyuk when he was in eighth grade ????

 

**nose :** hyuk listened to visual kei???????????

 

**galbi song :** IT WAS A PHASE OKAY

**galbi song :** THE AESTHETICS DEEPLY APPEALED TO ME

 

**nose :** aesthetics??? what aesthetics????????

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** calm down emo nemo

 

**brewster :** wow i’ve never seen sanghyuk be bullied in this gc

**brewster :** this is turning out to be a great day :)

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** if i knew all it would take to get woonie to show emotion was teasing hyuk i woulda done it a long time ago

 

**brewster :** and there goes my good mood

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** :(((((((((((

 

**galbi song :** im feeling extremely out of my element this is wrong

 

**damnra-ssi :** this is so entertaining

 

-

 

02.47

 

[ **chat :** _cha hakyeon is messy and pours milk before cereal (8)_ ]

 

**the ult visual :** rt @ the new chat name

**the ult visual :** its fitting

 

**smiles :** yeah we all knew hakyeon hyung’s ass was chaotic evil

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** okay so 1. i dont agree w ur statement changsub

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** and 2. im chaotic good at worst okay dont slander my name

 

**kong :** keep dreaming

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** no one invited u to this conversation hongbin

 

**kong :** nO oNe InViTeD yOu To ThIs CoNvErSaTiON hOnGbIn

**kong :** what am i meant to do im a part of the gc

 

**damnra-ssi :** lol

 

**nose :** as much as i love u all i am trying to be a functioning adult and sleep at appropriate times

**nose :** so would u kindly shut it? thanks ily xxxxxx

 

**the ult visual :** lmao why would u wanna do that

 

**nose :** the school musical is stressing me out my acne is flaring up bc of it i cant be the drama superstar im meant to be if i dont look my usual cute af self

**nose :** and sleep helps

**nose :** apparently

 

**kong :** who told u ur cute

 

**nose :** wonshik does

 

**smiles :** mister wonshik would u like to certify this statement

 

**damnra-ssi :** i plead the 5th

 

**smiles :**??? this isnt america u cant plead the 5th

 

**damnra-ssi :** I PLEAD THE 5TH

**damnra-ssi :** this isnt ace attorney u cant interrogate me at ass o clock in the morning

 

**smiles :** i asked a question? ur the one who used a law term

 

**damnra-ssi :** goodnight

 

**kong :** it doesnt matter he doesnt count he was brainwashed the day u met him, all the aegyo got to his head

**kong :** rip og kim wonshik 1993-2016 u were a real one

 

**nose :** hmph

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** well i can vouch that sleep does help

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** i mean i am perfectly functioning and extremely gorgeous

 

**smiles :** the first time i met u, u were drunk in ur shared dorm with eunkwang and u were crying over a wonder girls mv

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** i was young and immature

 

**the ult visual :** as a witness to that travesty i would like to mention that this took place a year ago

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** my point still stands

 

**kong :**??? ur anything but young tho

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** my tolerance towards u is steadily decreasing and ive only known u for a few months

 

**kong :** aw hyung :’)

 

-

 

12.05

  


**lemme move my bangs :** so no one is curious abt hyuk’s visual kei phase

 

**galbi song :** if you know how i feel why would you say that like you put me in such an uncomfortable situation you know im not happy you know im trying

 

**kong :** ah memories :’)

 

**damnra-ssi :** i still dont understand how hongbin knows 8th grade hyuk

**damnra-ssi :** but unanswered qs seem to be a theme w yall so

 

**galbi song :** that isnt important hyungnim

**galbi song :** my reputation and name is being slandered i refuse to stand for this

 

**kong :** how are u awake u were up til 4am

 

**damnra-ssi :** coffee and the looming presence of overdue assignments

 

**lemme move my bangs :** rt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y eet its been over 3 months since i even looked at this fic,,, BUT the comeback made me feel like i need to pull up my socks welp im a shit stan but i luv them uwu  
> ive been obsessing over nct dream in my spare time while waiting for the comeback gotta get my priorities in check
> 
> anyway i hope yall enjoy and that i become a better stan smh


	7. oily hair straighteners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **galbi song :** if anything u should blame wonshik hyungnim  
>  **galbi song :** his mixtape inspired it all
> 
> **damnra-ssi :** me calling my mixtape k1tchen and having a song called frypan doesnt mean u can blame me for ur stupidity

 

27/05

[  **chat :** _cha hakyeon is messy and pours milk before cereal (8)_ ]

 

**nose :** sos

**nose :** stinkys i have an issue

**nose :** like a SEerious(™) one

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** serious like u have an std 

**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** or serious like u forgot u had an assignment

**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** or serious like ur hair straightener stopped working bc u were using it to cook samgyupsal

 

**nose :** okay i have 2 serious issues

 

**brewster :** r u calling me out

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** yes

**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** bc u were using MY hair straightener ugh

 

**brewster :** i saw it on a life hacks fb page

**brewster :** there were no clean pans!!! what was i meant to do

 

**kong :** wow hyung u use facebook

**kong :** still?

 

**the ult visual :** wash one?

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** correction, there were no pans at all

 

**the ult visual :** wait whut

 

**brewster :** demon child 1 and demon child 2 thought it would be funny to steal all our pans and place them throughout the uni campus

 

**smiles :** is that why there is a pan hanging in the doorway of the music dept 

 

**galbi song :** we didnt think it would be funny

**galbi song :** we knew it woukd be funny

 

**smiles :** but why are there so many pans scattered around campus

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** they didnt steal only our pans

**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** they stole my RA master key and broke into all the dorms on our floor n stole everyone’s frypans

 

**lemme move my bangs :** what can i say

**lemme move my bangs :** we are geniuses

 

**galbi song :** if anything u should blame wonshik hyungnim

**galbi song :** his mixtape inspired it all

 

**damnra-ssi :** me calling my mixtape k1tchen and having a song called frypan doesnt mean u can blame me for ur stupidity

 

**galbi song :** thats where you’re wrong

 

**lemme move my bangs :** we are impressionable children who are naive n take everything at face value

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** oh so ur admitting that ur a child

 

**galbi song :** dont put word s in my mouth

 

**the ult visual :** so r we going to ignore jaehwanie n his issues

 

**kong :** yeah its what i normally do at least

 

**nose :** N E WAYS

**nose :** my inital issue was that i have downloaded the entirely of noragami n the latest eps of bnha but i cant find the motivation within me to watch them

**nose :** the other new issue is that i forgot abt an assignment yes thanks @ **an Actual Petty Bitch(™)** for bringing that up 

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** was that a sincere thank u

 

**nose :** why wouldnt it be

 

**smiles :** after knowing hyuk for a while it become sdifficult to tell whether ppl are sincere or not

**smiles :** since he always has ulterior motives

 

**galbi song :** ouch

 

**kong :** its true tho

 

**galbi song :** doesnt mean it doesnt hurt

 

**the ult visual :** ur first issue doesnt seems that serious it barely warrants an sos

**the ult visual :** cant believe i woke up for this

 

**lemme move my bangs :** u woke up to respond to jaehwan hyung’s sos

**leme move my bangs :** him of all ppl

 

**the ult visual :** oh shut i would have woken up if any of u guys sent an sos

 

**lemme move my bangs :** lies

  
  


[  **lemme move my bangs** added  **strum strum** (dugeundonggeun) to the chat! ]

  
  


**lemme move my bangs :** ur w sub hyung right

 

**strum strum :** _ what in tarnations _

 

**lemme move my bangs :** stop w the english hyung answe r me goddamnt 

 

**strum strum :** clm down detectiv e conan

**strum strum :** yes i am

 

**lemme move my bangs :** did he just wake up to answer an sos

 

**smiles :** u petty ass bitch

 

**kong :** no thats hakyeon hyung

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** u havent seen petty yet 

 

**kong :** example number one ^^^^^

 

**strum strum :** he did wake up but not bc of his phone

**strum strum :**  he woke up bc the librarian caught him sleeping n slammed like a thousand reference books next to his head

 

**galbi song :** we have a library?

 

**nose :** oh god

**nose :** y do u guys always change the topic when im trying to talk

 

**kong :** bc no one cares

 

**damnra-ssi :** i care

 

**kong :** ofc u do

**kong :** wonshik doesn count he’s brainwashed remember

 

**nose : ㅠ ㅅ ㅠ**

 

**damnra-ssi :** uwu cute

  
  


[  **an Actual Petty Bitch(™)** kicked  **damnra-ssi** from the chat! ]

  
  


**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** no uwu-ing in my good christian household

 

**kong :** ur buddhist tho?

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch(™) :** how did u know that????

 

**kong :** wonshik used to complain me when u would lecture him abt staying at his studio for 3 days straight n told him to meditate and “focus on his chakras” n whatnot

 

**brewster :** dont be a hippocrip hakyeon u said uwu out loud this morning 

 

**nose :** to who???

 

**brewster :**  me ㅎㅡㅎ

 

**galbi song :** u disgust me hyungnim

 

**brewster :** how do u think i felt 

 

**nose :** owo whats this

**nose :** the first time woon hyung n hyogi bond and its over their mutual hate of hakyeon hyung’s attempts at being wholesome

**nose :** now that the bonding is over can we get to the real issue

 

**strum strum :** jaehwan hyung this is on the same level of importance as ilhoon never catching up/finishing homestuck 

 

**smile :** so not important at all

 

**lemme move my bangs :** excuse me i learnt english to read that goddamn comic it WAS v important - ilhoon

 

**strum strum :** asking me to translate everytime u found vocab that was beyond ur 8th grade level eng is not learning eng to read it

 

**lemme move my bangs :** dont u dare read me like that - ilhoon

 

**kong :** why are u w ilhoon isnt he meant to be in class along w wonshik

 

**lemme move my bangs :** thats not important - ilhoon

 

**galbi song :** y can i see u by the vending machine outside the science dept

**galbi song :** y is sungjae fighting the vending machine

**galbi song :** oh btw campus police are approaching u

  
**lemme move my bangs :**  shIT FUCK OKAY SEE YALL LATE RWPEACE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS SHORT I KNOW IM SORRY iwill try write more oof i still love vixx i am just preoccupied w school and art courseowrk but i promise i'll write more n longer chps i just have to sort myself out oof ;; i hope everyone has a great day n a great week tho!! thank u for reading!


	8. hotel? trivago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **ilhoon**  
>  : _its been a minute_ dude where have u been
> 
> **strum strum**  
>  : the egg-a-cution of the sentence _its been a minute_ in korean rlly doesnt work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (cl voice) its been a long time coming, but we here now

[  **chat :** _ cha hakyeon is messy and pours milk before cereal (9)  _ ]

  
  


**an Actual Petty Bitch™ :** wh y does this chat keep on dying

 

**brewster :** because some of us have lives

 

**nose :** dont lie, u spent all day yesterday trying to visit every cat cafe in seoul

 

**brewster** : im living my best life 

**brewster** : whats the problem

 

**kong** : u spent the entirety of the week inside your apt playing ace attorney and drinking spiked coffee

**kong** : one. how did u know hyung was at cat cafes 

**kong** : two. how r u still alive

 

**nose** : i have a digestive system n a liver of fucking steel

 

**smiles** : i did always wonder how ur tiny body handles all the bullshit u be putting in it

 

**strum strum** : what is this

**strum strum** : why is wonshik asking me to add him back th e chat

**strum strum** : what is this

 

**ilhoon** : jensdncou PENIEL

**ilhoon** : its been a minute dude where have u been

 

**strum strum** : the egg-a-cution of the sentence  _ its been a minute  _ in korean rlly doesnt work

**strum strum** : n what do u mean dude i was at ur dorm yesterday

 

**lemme move my bangs** : u were?

 

**strum strum** : dont act dumb sungjae u invited me

 

**lemme move my bangs** : lol u right

 

**ilhoon** : im still so confused

**ilhoon** : AH! u have hair now

**ilhoon** : thats why i couldnt recognise u

 

**nose** : HSKHGDSDGSGKU

 

**kong** : og hmy dod

 

**nose** : right befor e i forget/pass out bc of exhaustion. i knew abt taek hyung’s catscapades bc he decided to drag wonsikkie along 

**nose** : and then wonsikkie came to dig me out of my 3 day old blanket burrito to complain abt it smh

 

**kong** : u are honestly one of the most revolting human being i know

**kong** : why just why does wonsik like u

 

**galbi song** : rt

 

**nose** : bc im super cute and good at cooking

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™** : whoever told u were good at cooking lied

 

**brewster** : he’s beeter than u thats for sure

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™** : okay but we arent talking abt me now are we

 

**galbi song** : mummy, daddy, why are u fighting

 

**kong** : hdjhagdkag HYUNG JUST THREW HIS PHONE OUT THE WINDOW

**kong** : “CURSEDT” - jung taekwoon, 2018

 

**the ult visual** : i think eunkwang n minhyuk hyung are like lowkey married

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™** : whta

 

**strum strum** : que

**strum strum** : okay but like do i add him back to the gc

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™** : dont

 

**brewster** : do it

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™** : why do u like to undermine my authority

 

**lemme move my bangs** : i thought taekwoon hyung thru his phone out the window

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™** : he ran out immediately to retrieve it

 

**brewster** : im BROKE i cant afford a new phone 

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™** : maybe if u didnt go to cat cafes all the fucking time u would have money

 

**smiles** : (who’s gonna tell him)

 

**galbi song** : okay but hyung w no due respect 

**galbi song** : u have no authority

 

**nose** : u have as much authority as a grade school teacher has over fucking salarymen

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™** : why dont u just like

**an Actual Petty Bitch™** : choke

 

**nose** : i dont have a gag reflex 

 

**kong** : w h a t

 

**the ult visual** : wild

**the ult visual** : but like 

**the ult visual** : no lies eunkwang hyung n minhyuk hyung are FUCKING married

 

**lemme move my bangs** : did u mean fucking as in like emphasis or are they lterally fucking sm1 called married

 

**smiles** : sungjae youre going to hell for that

 

**lemme move my bangs** : home sweet home

 

**brewster** : the fact that he doesnt even deny it

 

**strum strum** : he wont stop bothering me imma add sik back

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™** : the block reason exists for a reason

 

**strum strum** : yeah well

**strum strum** : as much a s i wish the block button was an irl thing its not so

 

**the ult visual** : punch him in the face

 

**strum strum** : the dude could curbstomp me!!!!!

 

**the ult visual** : understandable have a good day

  
  


[ **_strum strum_** added **_damnra-ssi_** back to the chat! ]

  
  


**ilhoon** : mood? shook

seeking? death 

hotel? trivago

 

**galbi song** : i mean 

**galbi song** : mood

**galbi song** : ut what the hell

 

**ilhoon** : the mere thought of eunkwang hyung being in a relationship

**ilhoon** : nevertheless before me

**ilhoon** : makes me wanna kind ayou know just kinda like sorta kill myself

 

**smiles** : oh my god wht why r u so extra???

 

**ilhoon** : okay no i a m being e x t r a 

**ilhoon** : my braincells are doing that chromosomes dance

**ilhoon** : i m just like shook n dont know how to react to such news

**ilhoon** : death jokes are my automated response

 

**nose** : whta the fuck

 

**kong** : sounds like u finished homestuck 

 

**lemme move my bangs** : no he jus t made a tumblr

 

**galbi song** : idk if thats worse…….

 

**damnra-ssi** : maybe u shouldnt have added me back

 

**smiles** : okay so if kwang hyung n mnhyuk hyung are married 

**smiles** : does that mean minhyuk becomes that “waiting for my husband to come back frm the war” meme since kwang hyung enlisted

 

**strum strum** : pretty much

 

**nose** : wait doesnt that mean we gonna see taekwoon n hakyeon hyung BALD

 

**brewster** : no i enlisted already 

**brewster** : ?? u know this

 

**nose** : that explains those two years i barely saw u

 

**kong** : ho w can u call him your best friend if u didnt even know he enlisted

 

**damnra-ssi** : maybe jae hyung has a bad memory

 

**galbi song** : wow bad memory??

**galbi song** : the time for u to start taking care f ur bones is near

**galbi song** : get tips from hakyeon hyung

 

**lemme move my bangs** : poor gramps n his grandpa bones

 

**nose** : wtf hakyeon n taek hyung are the ones who are old not me

 

**galbi song** : Your Time Is Near

 

**strum strum** : AH SUNGJAE

**strum strum** : what happened after u got caught by campus police squaring up w the vending machine

 

**lemme move my bangs** : thats not important

 

**ilhoon** : they banned him frm using the vending machine

 

**brewster** : how????

 

**kong** : get w the times old man

**kong** : the old wending machines were replaced w card reading ones, n u use ur student card to pay

 

**an Actual Petty Bitch™** : how did u not know?

 

**brewster** : the library basement has a vending machine n everything on it is 500 won

 

**nose** : yeh but its that shit frm the 1950s

 

**brewster** : it tasted fine to me

  
**damnra-ssi** : yeah i definitely shouldnt have rejoined this gc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO im back! i still love vixx n btob! im just a horrible stan khjsdgfhs but hey! o graduated high school lets get this baguette! so more updates (hopefully lmao)  
> thank you to anyone who still pays attention to this fic lmaooo i also hve an nct chatfic! so u can check that out wink wonk nudge nodge  
> im sorry this is so short tho lol


End file.
